Shxt tits, dxck bits and hella misfits. Welcome to the condensed, written and more unprofessional version of The John Stewart Show ala TRR.
I’m illa feelin’ mind numb after a massive hit of karaage and curry (compliments to the House of Shoji and Azuma-san). It’s poultry crack, delicious stuff. Now more uni plushing into the bleek hours. So lets talk some smack first.
Its been a fxckin’ chaotic month, would one not agree? Should we go in chronological order..
So this happened for a minute:
But people were really looking at this:
And then the Baracka Bull aka The Great One aka The People’s Prez aka President of the U.S of A Barack Obama totally flatlined that news with this:
So the big bad villain is dead, we can all go home yeah? But because we apparently have intelligent counterparts in society Prez OB did not go without grilling. Some of the “classic” replies that came from this are as follows:
“We discovered his hiding place to be a mansion in Pakistan.”
“The body will be buried at sea as per Islamic tradition.”
Wait.. what? Really? Do I need to even draw the dots? Let me throw some stuff at you.
If you found this to be difficult then you were likely a member of the special task force commissioned to seek out Osama Bin Laden. Just saying.
But they did find some real intel regarding how it all went down. A very accurate picture from within the mission console of the White House, detail down to the pixel. Check it out.
So the jokes came faster than when Cam watches male porn and most were original.. for about 3 seconds. Then came the argument wave about “killing people” and “mi slaughter su slaughter”, some other hero/national/dictatorial stuff. Should we be concerned probably. But then we all heard Arnie had a secret affair, spawned a love child via mistress and dropped about $450 million on the divorce settlement. Wait did I type that right, oh wait yeah I fxcking did, that’s $450 million!!
If you want to see the culmination of this cash drop check this pic of his love child who was apparently the cause of The Last Action Hero’s undoing. You be the judge.
In the words of Dirt Nasty “Arnold Schwarzenneger’s love child looks like Arnold Schwarzenneger had a baby with Arnold Schwarzenneger.”
Couldn’t agree more.
What does this mean for the governance of California?? Well considering the likely result of vacancy will be a showdown between Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg, wwe could be looking at a resulting cold war front lasting for about, oh, lets say 11 years? (we’re counting release date ’til Detox here) Then… well California should be just fine.
Oh speaking of DN was over on our shores recently. Here’s some highlights from his visit. Backflipping into vat acid ‘cos I missed it.
So we’ve been news heavy. We’ll get there. For this week though I would like to leave you with a parting thought.
Thank God It’s The FucKING Weekend! PEACE!