The Revolver Roundtable, Ep. 2: She ain’t a politician, honey’s a pole-itician

Hello viewers and welcome to another eloping, elongated frolic of The Revolver Roundtable.

Contention and prevention are today’s topic on the table of roundness (which is actually square). More specifically PM Jae Gills has  called us all to the polls (no, not a gentlemen’s club) to vote for her, ideally and not the real life Lord Voldemort that is Tony Abbot. What I meant to say was we are having a regional electorate to fairly decide this country’s leader per K. Rudd’s impromptu dismissal. I thought it be a good idea to try and level the playing field a bit by dousing some of the cons that might influencing your voting. No pros because I don’t believe in them, unless it’s prose or baseball legend Pete Rose.

"Look what steroids did to my jaw! I can't even open wide enough to pleasure a small man!!"

So word on the street (and possibly in the national news) is that PM Julian Gillard is an athiest. What this means is that has no holistic or religious views, which includes an absence of belief in God. I think the united Christian community of Australia’s reaction could be summed up by this:

“Yes they’re eating her. BECAUSE SHE’S A DAMN HEATHEN!!!”

I kid, I kid. But there’s a few points I’d like to throw out into the abyss of human negligence without ranting too much. First of all there’s a line (I’ll give you a hint* it’s invisible) between an individuals religious beliefs and their occupations, unless you work for the vatican or are devout to a church. Julian Gillard’s j-o-b is to be the Prime Minister; to ensure the best outcome for Australia’s well-being. This is what we should care about, what she is, not the “who”. I have no intentions of dating Ms. Gillard anytime soon, so I don’t feel that I need-to-know/care about the PM on an intimate level. As she stated in an ABC interview, “I am what I am and people will judge that.”

Do not misunderstand me, I am fairly religious and yeah I believe in God. But case in point I believe that we were made to be at least intelligent in our understanding of a situation. And clearly she’s aware of the fallacy of human ignorance.

"For the last time NO I am not the love child of Pauline Hanson and Jodie Foster!"

Gurl pleeeaaase.

Gillard stated in a recent interview that she does not enforce her atheism: ”I’m, of course, a great respecter of religious beliefs but they’re not my beliefs.”

Seriously there is nothing wrong with that. Why don’t we just focus on the ranga styles which clearly deserves more attention.

Anti-Tony Abbot campaigns have already begun circulating on the ole’ tube (not YouTube). Wait yes YouTube…

I don’t care who you are, that’s fucking incredible. I wouldn’t discredit the fact that Tony “the Tongue” could win with a sweet trick like that up his sleeve. Awesome comment left by 2010TheSpade that was too good to not mention: “He dreaming of the devouring of Gillard at the next election.”

Grammatical issues aside the question now is do we regard Abbot’s rumored use of ginger floss as a) a con or b) a pro? This young hopeful thinks he knows the secret:

Now I will formally apologise for his partial ignorance (and pigmentation disorder). I’m sorry kid, what you claim has never been scientifically or statistically proven and therefore holds no validity. Not even your beloved hero can save you!

"Foolish Tony Abbot you are stupid like Dee Dee! Where is my Major Glory action figure?!"
In other news a couple of the coast of South Africa* were whale-watching in their moderately expensive yacht when one of the whales literally jumped INTO THE YACHT! Okay so Tony “the Tongue” Abbot was pretty cool, but this is just, yeeeaaah:
That's a HUUUUGE BITCH!

The aftermath of this incident left the mast and rigging fairly smashed up but thankfully no one was hurt. Now as awesome as this is, I would like to emplore that we can no longer afford to oversight what has occurred here. I knew, and certainly the Japanese did, that it was only going to be a matter of time before the deep dark blue part of the marble rebelled against us, and how prophetic is it that it starts with our distant, physically superior cousin.

"They kept saying whale but I told 'em my name's WALE..."
Distant cousins.
So which candidate will we vote in for PM comrades? Which individual out of the two primary candidates can trust to be brave and bold in handling the problems that, not only impair our society in the immediate sense, but ones that could happen to us in the not-so-distant future…
This yacht could be what the ENTIRE WORLD looks like one day.
Hmmm, would that be such a bad thing?
Alright folks, off to watch Inception. Check in next week for another episode of The Revolver Roundtable.
*My favourite country

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